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ep... I did my last stand,I'm goin.I know you are thinking ''he's lying he did it before'' but I'm really going.Lately I was in a dangerous mood and a stupid person.One decision changed my life.Made me suffer and try to kill myself.But I couldn't,I survived I used to be a light of one girls life.I screwed it,I was afraid,and confused that I made so many wrong things...I failed...I'm sorry I let you down.This won't help I know.But I am a paranoid now.Getting scared from people only feelings safe in my own room aand dying,slowly.Sanity is low,tried to kill self over and over again,cried for days.Couldn't take anymore.So I was in lockdown,wouldn't let anyone inside my room.Still not letting...wishing I was never born to make no trouble.Because I'm weak... I lost steven and jayden after that and lilly....and now one of the chains of my heart gone...kathy.I broke her heart badly,I never tought I could be that stupid.Now just gone to zero... Hour after hour I remember her arts and comments on her new journal step by step self-destrucktion I hope you all be happy without me.No need to stop me from it.I will be alone...don't care about me,hate me for this choisemy legs,arms and hands are shaking I can't sleep,I can't live,I can't smile...not anymore this might be my last journal,if u say something like ''please stay'' and I won't reply congrats I'm gone.Now you know how to finish me off,the choise is yours.Finish me...now...
  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: Falling inside the Black by skillet
  • Reading: Iceshards journal
  • Watching: Self tearing apart
  • Playing: -
  • Eating: I prefer dying
  • Drinking: I prefer dying
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:iconxxemowolfmoonxx:
XXEmoWolfMoonXX Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
I used to feel terrible....
thought no one loved me.....
thought if I was gone, I'd make so many happy...
but then I thought, what would i do without my friends...
Then i realized there are people who actually care,
people tat make me feel good,
I still can't truly smile, but I can feel good about myself

If you were dead, I would more then likely cut, be severly depressed, and
everything I've ever thought about myself would come full force back
I would shut everyone, and I do mean everyone out of my life.......



My point is.........I would care if you were dead, my fragile heart wuld break......

I'm crying inside.....so much right now.......
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Thats why i putted u to my İD,ur keeping me here
Reply
:iconxxemowolfmoonxx:
XXEmoWolfMoonXX Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
How am I keeping you here? Y-You never explained that.....
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I'm leaving,farewell...
Reply
:iconxxemowolfmoonxx:
XXEmoWolfMoonXX Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student General Artist
W-What??
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Don't worry Cole is still here,he will be waiting your notes ^_^ >>M<<
Reply
:iconxxemowolfmoonxx:
XXEmoWolfMoonXX Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student General Artist
So I send him a note? :?
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Sure,why not
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconchibiloverqueen:
chibiloverqueen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student General Artist
too be honest not being rude but so many people have a worse life than u just sayin so u should rly be happy with wat u have got and i dont rly want u too leave... but bye...
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Their life's are painful for their ow selves mines painful for me too if we had lived like that we all would be them
Reply
:iconchibiloverqueen:
chibiloverqueen Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
right..ok
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Why are you crying now?
Reply
:iconchibiloverqueen:
chibiloverqueen Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
i have a huge gash in my arm from this boy in my class attacking me with a saw in wood tech
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
And nothing happend to him?....
Reply
:iconchibiloverqueen:
chibiloverqueen Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
apart from me clawing his face off idk
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
then tell to your teachers
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconteresaisahob1234:
teresaisahob1234 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
I was depress at at 1 point.
I hade suicidal thoughts too.
but 1 thing that keep me from dying was the thought of my friends and family will do with out me?
I know what pain feels like I know you suffered
and I did too
it brock my friends heart
but it mostly brock my beast guy friend heart more and soon the more he saw me like that the more he suffered.
so I got help.
i'm now tacking medicine for my sadness

so plz if you die all of those thing and more will come back. I am crying right now too jaceyyyy
you are 1 of my friends and friends for give and forget
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
You are the only one says that, here is the song that describes my life: Falling inside the Black by skillet ,I wish kathy see it but she won't understand.its not a thing that a NORMAL HUMAN CAN UNDERSTAND! ;(
Reply
:iconteresaisahob1234:
teresaisahob1234 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
for them to understand that need to go what you are going through
and that's how I understand
*hugs*
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I felt so much pain,I'm afraid from darkness,don't leave me alone...
Reply
:iconteresaisahob1234:
teresaisahob1234 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
im not!! I'll never leave you!!!!!
*hugs tighter and cries a little*
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Why are you helping me...I'm a betrayer,I betrayed her...I'm a loser,I failed...
Reply
:iconteresaisahob1234:
teresaisahob1234 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
im helping because I care. you not a loser!!!!
friends forgive and forget!!!!
you may think you failed but a true friend will forgive you in time
Reply
:iconsonic654:
sonic654 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
She won't...I just know it...
Reply
(2 Replies)
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